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Archive for July, 2008

EXCUSES, EXCUSES.

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on July 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

If you are reading this, you are reading this before I have a chance to post this week’s TELT. I left my charger at my friend’s house, so my computer will not be on in enough time for me to create something amazing. ASAP though, I swear,
In the meantime, here’s some mega-wtfry from my stats:
the [...]

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#24 – Never Answering Emails Ever.

Posted in Uncategorized on July 23, 2008 | 3 Comments »

One of you lovely readerfriends of mine made a specific request for a post. I am going to say two very important things right now, and even though only one of you made the request, you all need to listen up:

I do not take requests;
NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO.

Write it on a [...]

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#23 – Public Transportation.

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , on July 15, 2008 | 5 Comments »

Do you know why gas costs so much nowadays?
BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS SOME FUCKING GAS, THAT’S WHY.
I hate to say this- in fact, I am going to say it, and then you should all take a Forget-Me-Now immediately after you read the sentence, because I don’t want this getting out there- but… hippies are right. If [...]

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An Aside: Pre-suicide Suicide Note.

Posted in Uncategorized on July 8, 2008 | 3 Comments »

I do not really have time to make this post, but I am just so angry with everything today, I need to let a little of it out because, if not, you know what’s going to happen?
What’s going to happen is I am going to walk into a Wendy’s with a large butcher knife, a [...]

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Things Everyone Loves, #6 – SPECIAL INDEPENDENCE DAY EDITION!

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , on July 4, 2008 | 4 Comments »

While I was kicking ass in Rockband, I heard a newscaster say, ‘George Washington, the Father of our Country, owned slaves’. He may have also said a number, like 8 or 2,000, but I don’t know, I was doing a drum solo.
What I do know is he must have immediately followed that with a story [...]

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Tila Tequila Update.

Posted in Uncategorized on July 2, 2008 | 4 Comments »

Surprise.

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#22 – When Big Business F*cks With My Childhood.

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2008 | 3 Comments »

Here is a list of things I was OBSESSED WITH as a child:

Strawberry Shortcake;
Care Bears;
My Little Pony;
Jem;
Barbie;
She-Ra, Princess of Power;
He-Man [insert 'married a gay man, big mistake' joke here];
Alice in Wonderland (You remember this ish, right?);
Crying any time an adult spoke directly to me;
The Entertainment Tonight Theme Song;
Cabbage Patch Kids.

In less than the amount of [...]

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